To Live The Free Life of a Rover.....

To paraphrase a Pogues song. As part of my hair brained plan to take the summer and autumn off from any kind of significant work, I've started to try and walk the South West Coastal Path, a 630 mile trek from Minehead in Somerset to Poole in Dorset.


At the very beginning of July I took the train down to Falmouth, stopped off at Rick Stein's hideously expensive (but bloody lovely) fish and chip shop and started the 70 odd mile walk to Penzance.

First night I stayed at a nice quiet campsite three miles west of Falmouth and was up early and away by 7 in the morning, in bright sunshine.I stopped off at Rosemullion Head for a spot of fishing and managed a single wrasse and dozens of missed bites. A phone call from Mr Poodle Riley, as I approached the Helford river raised my already high spirits, as I sent him a picture of the stunning scenery on the phone, as he was slaving away working for Alan Williams. Actually, that's not true, as Poodle hasn't really worked properly since his (cough) "working from home" stint when he lived in Capel. This consisted of sitting in the garden reading the paper before darting inside to take any phone calls.

Lunch was taken in the Riverside Cafe in Helford, local crab sandwiches and a couple of pieces of home baked cake.Very nice too.

I had another stop at Nare Point, again to send photos to annoy mates Gareth Dann and The Manc Midgit . It's especially satisfying not working when your mates are. I reached Porthallow, where the guide book told me to stick to the alternative inland path, not the "Ill advised coastal route". As I am an adventurous, or stupid, individual, depending on your point of view, I took the "Ill advised route". The guide book had given no indication of why it was ill advised. I can report it is ill advised, as you go through several, extremely high barbed wire fences and two electrified cattle fences.

By now I was well on the way to Coverack, where I camped at the YHA site, had great fish and chips (again) and the first of several pints of Rattler cider. A great first day, clocking up 23 miles in total.

Forecast for day two was heavy rain for the afternoon, so again I was away early, hoping to do the 12 miles to The Lizard before the rain arrived. Made good progress, stopping off at Cadgworth to tuck into an ice cream and rolled into Lizard just as the rain had started. I didn't fancy heavy rain in the tent (wimp), so checked into The Caerthillian bed and breakfast, ideally situated right next to a pub and cafe. Quick bite to eat and I'll just have five minutes reading the paper on the bed. Two hours later I wake up just in time for Germany v France World Cup quarter final. What a civilized way to spend the afternoon.

Day three and after a great breakfast I'm off heading towards, well Porthleven I suppose. Day got better as it went on and by late afternoon it's scorching. I reach Porthleven and although it's OK, it's a bit busy for my liking, so I head on for another five or six miles to Pra Sands. As I approached Pra Sands I caught sight of the beach and I knew I'd made the right decision to carry on. Bloody bootiful as Poodle would say. The lady at the campsite even made me a cup of tea as I arrived.

Down the beach side pub for a pint or two of Rattler and more World Cup matches, chatting and drinking with another hiker, known only as Dave. Great evening, slept very well, hail the local cider.

Rose a bit later in the morning on the final leg to Penzance with Dave. First few miles was great scenery, but we somehow got a bit, not lost (I'm never lost, though I may not know where I am), well we took an alternative route, thanks to chatting and not looking at the map.

After Marizion the last three miles to Penzance were deadly dull, with a railway adjacent to the path and chip eaters everywhere.

Got to Penzance mid afternoon, where Dave carried on and I prepared to get the ferry to the Scilly Isles, but that's another story.

Mersea "Round The Island" Half Marathon

Yet another lovely June day dawned ( yes, I am and always have been obsessed with the weather ) and on the spur of the moment I  decided to enter the Mersea off road Half Marathon, a circuit of the island along footpaths and finishing with a draining five mile run along the beach.

Me and Lady Bong parked up and almost immediately bumped into the legendary biking and running machine Perry " The Cannibal " Taylor. My first words to Lady Bong were " Shit, I was going to take it easy, now I'll have to race". You can't let your mates beat you. Also present was one of Perry's mates, Bob Chapman, a man I think looks and sounds like Dudley Moore ( when he was alive, obviously ).

The starting gun went off and along the beach we went with 350 others. It was bloody hot and before long we were stripped to the waist which resulted in several local women fainting after being overcome with.....desire, lust, I don't know.

Many of the footpaths were very overgrown, which made it difficult to get in any sort of rhythm, but the views and glorious weather more than made up for this small inconvenience. The Cannibal set the pace and I was happy to follow and very quickly we were on to the long straight from Stone Point at East Mersea, heading west along the beach.

We both came in together in a decent time of 1.47, ending an enjoyable morning.

Madrid Marathon

After the weather wrecked South Devon marathon, or rather the fact that we bailed out due to the crap weather, I somehow ended up entering the Madrid marathon.

This was a spur of the moment decision and something that happened as a result of aimlessly poncing around on the internet. Anyway, we (me and Lady Bong) arrived in Madrid on Saturday, after a suprisingly painless journey, to our chosen hotel, only to be told they'd double booked and we'd have to move to their "sister" hotel down the street.

After a bit of negotiating, we agreed that we'd spend the first night in the other hotel and move back to our original choice if we wanted to, on the second night. As it was, we stayed put, as the hotel was perfect and right next to the Metro (and we couldn't be arsed).

We went out for a bite to eat and a (non alcoholic) drink on the Saturday. With all the bars I felt a bit cheated, but the drinking could wait.

Our hotel was only about 10 minutes walk from the Marathon start line. After giving Bong instructions on how to use the highly complicated camera phone, a device that only 2 billion of the world's population has managed to master, after taking a single picture she gave up saying "it's done that thing again". Whatever the fuck "that thing" is. And here is the single picture of me in the smegging marathon. Yeah, go green with envy whilst perusing those big guns.

I started off at the back with the "just want to finish" people (I was one of those) and the first five or six miles it was very difficult to make any progress, such was the bunching. There were a total of 29,000 in all, with the 10K, half marathon and full marathon entrants, after all. Things cleared a bit at about seven or eight miles where the half marathon course split and this enabled me to run at a pace of my choosing, rather than that of all those around me.

The crowds along the route were amazing, there were bloody thousands of them. "Vamos, Vamos!" was ringing in my ears all along the course.

I kept an eye on the distance markers and at about 35 km I thought, "this is a piece of piss", whereupon we started on a slow ascent which lasted for pretty much the rest of the race, which drained my remaining energy very quickly. I can't say I "hit the wall" but I was pleased when we entered the park where the finish line awaited.

I finished in 3.46.04, which I was well pleased with. That night, and the next, we went on a tapas bar crawl, having a bite to eat and a drink before moving on to the next. In the absence of any race pictures, here are some of Madrid's bars.

We made up for the "dry" Friday night by greedily tucking into the wine and grilled prawns, anchovys, goats cheese with roasted peppers, olives and anything else we fancied on both nights. And there ended a great weekend.

Colchester Half Marathon

After missing the South Devon Coastal Marathon in February due to the massive storms, I was looking forward to the Colchester Half Marathon, along with three other Boners, Rumble Dog, Will Howe and Slap Heeeeed Quinlan.

The day dawned with clear blue skies and a light breeze, better weather than you could reasonably hope for in mid March. Along with two and a half thousand other people we set off  at 9 from Colchester Utd statdium, in a roughly circular tour of the town and out nothwards towards Langham.

I was surprised at the numbers of people who turned out to watch, there were loads, everywhere. The Mighty Ruddski was spotted cheering, having taken up a strategic position 10 yards from The Shepherd and Dog pub.

What can you say about a 13 mile road race in which you didn't get injured, fall over or get knocked down by a car. Not much. For me, everything went well and I was well pleased with a time of 1:41.09.

Will was not far behind, followed by Rumble Dog and Slap Heeeeeeed who came in together with almost identical times. Special pat on the back for Slap Heeeed, who completed it without any training.

 Me and Bong then went to Lucca's in Manningtree where I tucked into a posh pizza and a pint, sitting outside in the sun. Bloody lovely. The icing on the cake was when I had the pleasure of watching Man Utd get destroyed 3-0 by Liverpool. Truly a perfect day.

I've just read the above write up back to myself and apologise for making a great event seem so fecking dull, but quite frankly I can't be arsed to re write it. I'll do a better job next time.

Pride Comes Before A Fall ?

After the (relative) success of the Half Marathon a few weeks ago I signed up for the Coastal Trail Series South Devon Marathon in February. This takes place along the south west coastal path and comprises of some extremely hilly terrain and its also a bit longer than a marathon, at 28.5 miles.

Whether I've bitten off more than I can chew remains to be seen, but I'm pretty confident I can do it provided I train properly. We'll see.

I tried to get the Manc Midgit to join me. At first all he could say was "28.5 miles ? In February ? In February ?" I explained that the south west was not like the frozen wasteland that is the north of England and I think he may have joined me had his long standing ankle injury not started causing him trouble last week.

The Silent Assassin has managed to secure a place in the London Marathon in April and decided that the Devon race would interfere with his preparation (Wimp. What's wrong with the youngsters these days?). In the end I managed to persuade Perry Taylor, an ultra fit customer/mate to enter. Three weeks before he's doing a 45 mile "Ultra" ! Think I may struggle to keep up with him.

I've started to increase the distance of the long run at weekends and yesterday did a steady 15 miles, starting at Mistley, through Manningtree, Dedham, Flatford, East End, Cattawade and back. Felt nice and easy, though I didn't push it pace wise.

Today I thought I'd get the mountain bike out and had a good, very muddy,  ride over to Wivenhoe and along the river. Beautiful crisp day with clear blue sky, bloody lovely.

Dunwich Off Road Half Marathon

Despite my best efforts I couldn't persuade any of the Boners to join me in the Dunwich Half Marathon, 13.3 miles of trail running across marsh, beach and woods in deepest Suffolk.

Manc Migit said he'd used up his yearly allowance of fun (actually I think it was Mandi who told him that ) and said he wouldn't be partaking in any physical activities until 2014. Norbert is busy working on his new house and The Silent Assassin was unavailable as he plays football on Saturdays.

So it was just me, undisputed Gang Leader, yet again "Rolling Back The Years" ( this is my new catch phrase that I will hammer home at every opportunity ), escorted by Lady Bong, who came along for moral support and as official photographer.

We were lucky with the weather, which was very mild, mostly sunny and very windy. There was a big turnout, the event being completly sold out. It comprised of a 10K, a full marathon and an Ultra (33 miles), in addition to the half marathon.

 

After registering we were ready to go and almost as soon as we started we were delayed as a single width footbridge caused a bottleneck as dozens of people tried to squeeze through at the same time.

Things improved as the field quickly spread out, the first few miles being along a wooded track, and through Walberswick marshes. Things got a bit tougher just before we reached the river at Walberswick, where we ran along the strength sapping sandy beach. 

We then made our way along the western edge of the marshes where it became muddy and very difficult to keep up a decent pace and in some spots, to even keep on your feet. In one place a couple of blokes were trying avoid a massive muddy puddle by shuffling around the outside, trying not to get wet and muddy, taking ages. What a couple of soft ponces I thought, as I ploughed straight through the middle of it, losing my footing and going arse over head before crashing into a tree. If someone is going to make a tit of themselves it's always me, I'm very reliable in that way.

From about the nine mile mark the surface improved and for the most part we were running along much drier tracks through the woods which made things easier. I was in a bit of pain for the last few miles but was pleased with the 1:56:49 finish.

Chief photographer Lady Bong was in position at the finishing line to capture my moment of glory but somehow failed to spot me so no action shots were taken.

 

We then retired to The Crown in Westleton when I have to say the pint went down rather well. A very enjoyable day.

Boners Are Back

Yes, it's true, the wait is over.

After a brief hiatus (look it up), The Strolling Bones are back. Sort of. The very beginnings of the 2014 challenge(s) are being discussed. This time Ruddski is hoping that no accidents prevent him not only organising, but participating fully to the very end. Mad dogs notwithstanding.

Although The Silent Assassin suffered the trauma of being forcibly withdrawn ( stop sniggering at the back Slowgrove ) at 80 km in Trailtrekker, he seems keen to be involved in any of the suggestions raised so far.

Talking of Norbert Slowgrove, I think he may have been permanently harmed by his, admittedly unpleasant, finale to the Trailtrekker in June, as whenever a prospective challenge is discussed, after initial enthusiasm, he says he's not up for it because "it's too hard". C'mon man, it's only pain.

The Manc Midgit will be up for anything he's told to do, as "I'm a private, not an Officer", as he never tires of telling us. Well, he'll do anything Mandi lets him..

That leaves The FISH and Hamish. Time will tell whether they will be taking part or in the Support Team. I think The FISH will be up for a cycling trip, if he can drag himself from the DIY.

Anyway, in the mean time, The Mighty Ruddski and myself enjoyed probably the last weekend of really warm, sunny weather this year, in a 50 mile bike ride around the Suffolk countryside yesterday. The first 30 odd miles was enjoyable, with quiet roads, good scenery and bright sunshine. The last 20 were less fun, being on busier roads, but a decent ride nonetheless.

The Mighty Ruddski ( AKA Mussolini ) and myself - Fine Specimens of East Anglian Manhood